Vigyazzek kend, a Kriszta meg a Krisztian az ket kulon dolog! (Az egyik
lyany, a masik meg fijju!)

Megtala'lta'k azt a Gamszahurdia ve'grendelete't tartalmazo' magno'kazetta't,
melyen hallhato',hogy a volt gru'z elno~k o~ngyilkossa'ga elo"tt teljes
vagyona't felaja'nlotta ke't ismeretlen fe'rfinak, amennyiben nem lo"nek.

A magyar hata'ro"rse'g ki'nai harci ja'rmu"veket va'sa'rol, hogy a haza'nkba
besziva'rgo' ki'nai a'llampolga'rok a zo~ldhata'ron azt higgye'k, hogy otthon
vannak, e's pa'nikszeru"en elmeneku~ljenek.

Ne'meth Miklo'shoz hasonlo'an ido"sb. K. Gyula, az OTP XXII. keru~leti 5.
sza'mu' fio'kja'nak fo"pe'nzta'ros-helyettese ko~zo~lte a helyi MSZP
alapszervezettel, hogy nem adja fel jelenlegi biztos a'lla'sa't, e's nem jo~n
be a va'rosba miniszterelno~knek.

Az Apostoli Szentsze'k e's a korma'ny mega'llapoda'sa e'rtelme'ben a
honve'dse'g ko~tele'ke'be tartozo' ta'bori lelke'szeknek nincs parancsada'si
joguk, i'gy a Ti'zparancsolat elo"i'ra'sai is csak akkor le'pnek hata'lyba, ha
azokat megero"si'ti egy jelen levo" tizedes.

Torgya'n Jo'zsef bejelentette, hogy me'g Fa Na'ndor is alkalmasabb lenne
mezo"gazdasa'gi miniszternek, mint a jelenlegi Szabo' Ja'nos, hiszen a
kiva'lo' hajo's Szabo'val ellente'tben ma'r messziro"l felismeri a fo~ldet.

A ra'dio's 168 o'ra e's a hasonlo' nevu" u'jsa'g jogvita'ja'ban Csu'cs
La'szlo' ve'gre kompromisszumos javaslattal a'llt elo". Ezek szerint lemond a
megemelt jogdi'jro'l, so"t a 168 o'ra ci'mu" lapban szo' szerint megjelenhet a
ra'dio'ada's teljes szo~vege, amit viszont sajna'lattal betilt.

Lapunk e'rtesu~le'se szerint re'szve'nyta'rsasa'gga' alakul a Posta, amivel
sajna'latos mo'don egyu~ttja'r, hogy kisme'rte'kben emelni fogja'k a
re'szve'nyta'viratok di'jte'teleit.

Az I. Keru~letii Bi'ro'sa'g sajto'e'rtekezleten ko~zo~lte, hogy gyorsi'tott
elja'ra'sban, me'g az Egyenleg-u~gy ta'rgyala'sa elo"tt, ide'n o"sszel
napirendre tu"zik a Haynau kontra Ta'ncsics me'diapert.

A MIE'P elso"sorban a volt SZDSZ-szavazo'ta'borra sza'mi't a legko~zelebbi
va'laszta'sokon, de a nyilatkozat szerint a Munka'spa'rtban csalo'dott
to~megek, valamint a Tel-Avivbo'l e's New Yorkbo'l mozgatott agrono'musok is
ra'juk adja'k majd voksukat.

Az ero"sen vesztese'ges MA'V e'le're Bere'nyi Ja'nos szeme'lye'ben
korma'nybiztost neveztek ki. Bere'nyi elo"rela'thato'an minden a'lloma'son e's
mega'llo'helyen korma'nybiztos.

(selmeczi )

--------------------------------

HO'CIPO" - szatirikus ke'thetilap

Fo"szerkeszto": Farkasha'zy Tivadar

Szerkeszto": Selmeczi Tibor

Megtalaltak azt a Gamszahurdia vegrendeletet tartalmazo magnokazettat, melyen
hallhato,hogy a volt gruz elnok ongyilkossaga elott teljes vagyonat
felajanlotta ket ismeretlen ferfinak, amennyiben nem lonek.

A magyar hatarorseg kinai harci jarmuveket vasarol, hogy a hazankba beszivargo
kinai allampolgarok a zoldhataron azt higgyek, hogy otthon vannak, es
panikszeruen elmenekuljenek.

Nemeth Mikloshoz hasonloan idosb. K. Gyula, az OTP XXII. keruleti 5. szamu
fiokjanak fopenztaros-helyettese kozolte a helyi MSZP alapszervezettel, hogy
nem adja fel jelenlegi biztos allasat, es nem jon be a varosba
miniszterelnoknek.

Az Apostoli Szentszek es a kormany megallapodasa ertelmeben a honvedseg
kotelekebe tartozo tabori lelkeszeknek nincs parancsadasi joguk, igy a
Tizparancsolat eloirasai is csak akkor lepnek hatalyba, ha azokat megerositi
egy jelen levo tizedes.

Torgyan Jozsef bejelentette, hogy meg Fa Nandor is alkalmasabb lenne
mezogazdasagi miniszternek, mint a jelenlegi Szabo Janos, hiszen a kivalo
hajos Szaboval ellentetben mar messzirol felismeri a foldet.

A radios 168 ora es a hasonlo nevu ujsag jogvitajaban Csucs Laszlo vegre
kompromisszumos javaslattal allt elo. Ezek szerint lemond a megemelt
jogdijrol, sot a 168 ora cimu lapban szo szerint megjelenhet a radioadas
teljes szovege, amit viszont sajnalattal betilt.

Lapunk ertesulese szerint reszvenytarsasagga alakul a Posta, amivel sajnalatos
modon egyuttjar, hogy kismertekben emelni fogjak a reszvenytaviratok
dijteteleit.

Az I. Keruleti Birosag sajtoertekezleten kozolte, hogy gyorsitott eljarasban,
meg az Egyenleg-ugy targyalasa elott, iden osszel napirendre tuzik a Haynau
kontra Tancsics mediapert.

A MIEP elsosorban a volt SZDSZ-szavazotaborra szamit a legkozelebbi
valasztasokon, de a nyilatkozat szerint a Munkaspartban csalodott tomegek,
valamint a Tel-Avivbol es New Yorkbol mozgatott agronomusok is rajuk adjak
majd voksukat.

Az erosen veszteseges MAV elere Berenyi Janos szemelyeben kormanybiztost
neveztek ki. Berenyi elorelathatoan minden allomason es megallohelyen
kormanybiztos.

Skacok!

Ide sussetek, micsoda remek marhasagot tala'ltam a Usenet-en!
Egyenest a comp.sys.sgi.* -bol! A tortenet eleje, hogy valami
Savonarola-komplexusban szenvedo egyen az osszes newsgroup-ot
elarasztotta a vegiteletrol szolo jovendolesevel. Egy MOKA-s
lelku SGI-hivo pedig orcatlanul kiforgatta (ahogy az majd alant
olvashato). Nem allhatom meg, hogy kozre ne adjam, okulasul.

Article: 5882 of comp.sys.sgi.admin
Newsgroups: comp.sys.sgi.admin
Path: mrccrc!doc.ic.ac.uk!uknet!pipex!uunet!europa.eng.gtefsd.com!darwin.sura.ne
t!news-feed-2.peachnet.edu!umn.edu!rushmore!glamm
From:  (Robert Glamm)
Subject: Re: Global Alert For All: Jesus is Coming Soon
Message-ID: >
Sender:  (Usenet News Administration)
Nntp-Posting-Host: rushmore.ee.umn.edu
Organization: University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, EE dept.
References: >
Date: Tue, 18 Jan 1994 06:47:34 GMT
Lines: 180

And to add some humor to this poorly crossposted article (and some RELEVANCE
to the group :)

>The earthquake in Los Angeles, California, the flood in Europe, the seemingly
>unstoppable war in the former Yugoslavia, the devastating fires in Australia,
>the flood in the Midwest of the United States of America, the devastating fires
>near Los Angeles, California, the rapid and appalling increase in violence in
>cities, towns, villages all over the world, the famines, the diseases, the rapi
d
>decline of the family unit, and the destructive earthquake in India (in 1993)
>are signs that this world's history is coming to a climax. The human race
>has trampled on God's Constitution, as given in Exodus 20:1-17 (King James
>Version Bible), and Jesus is coming to set things right. These rapidly
>accelerating signs are an indication that Jesus is coming soon (Matthew 24).

Read: An SGI tech support team will be with you soon to correct ALL the SGI
kernel/OS bugs.  Including the new IRIX 5.x systems.

>God's Holy Spirit is gradually withdrawing its protection from the earth
>and the devastating events you see are demonstrations of Satan's power. All
>those who are not guarded by God are in danger of forever losing eternal life.

Read: Back up everything first.  The tech support team might make mistakes.

>If you want to know what's about to happen, please study the books of Daniel
>and Revelation which are located in God's Word, the Bible.  They are not
>sealed or closed books. They can and must be understood by all. Every word
>in the Bible from Genesis to Revelation is true. The Bible and the Bible only
>must be your guide.

Read: Study all the sources for the kernel and binaries they give you.  They
will be your only hope after they are gone, and indeed, they WILL be your
only guide.

>When God's Law (the Constitution for the Universe) is consistently ignored, 
>disregarded, changed, and questioned, He permits certain events to occur to 
>wake us up.  I would urge all, wherever you are and regardless of the 
>circumstances, to directly call on Jesus and ask Him to intervene in your life.
>Jesus who created this planet and every living creature in it and on it, died 
>on the cross, was raised from the dead by God the Father, and is now in Heaven
>interceding for you. Jesus is the only One who can rescue us from the slavery,
>misery, and death Satan is causing us.

Read: If you do something stupid, expect to spend a lot of time and effort
undoing it.  Praying to the all-knowing SGI guru may save you the trouble.

>For reference I'm including God's Constitution as given in the King James
>Version Bible. Please note that when God says the seventh day, he means Sabbath
>(the 7th day of the week) not Sunday (1st day of the week).

>Commandment #1:  Exodus 20:1-3 (KJV)  And God
>                 spake all these words, saying, I am         
>                 the LORD thy God, which have brought
>                 thee out of the land of Egypt, out
>                 of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have
>                 no other gods before me.

Read:  Thou shalt not address anyone else as the superuser, lest ye want all 
your files wiped and all your email forwarded to alt.recovering.ufo.fanatics.

>Commandment #2:  Exodus 20:4-6 (KJV) Thou shalt not make
>                 unto thee any graven image, or any
>                 likeness of any thing that is in heaven
>                 above, or that is in the earth beneath,
>                 or that is in the water under the earth.
>                 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them
>                 that love me, and keep my commandments.

Read:  Thou shalt not use any other machine besides an SGI, lest ye be trapped
in the bowels of MSDOS forever.  (ugh... :)

>Commandment #3:  Exodus 20:7 (KJV) Thou shalt not take
>                 the name of the LORD thy God in vain;
>                 for the LORD will not hold him
>                 guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

Read:  Thou shalt not insult the superusr, lest ye want all your files wiped
and all your email forwarded to comp.users.stupid.  The superuser reserves 
his excellent right to be redundant.  See commandment1(1).

>Commandment #4:  Exodus 20:8-11 (KJV) Remember the sabbath
>                 day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou
>                 labour, and do all thy work: But the
>                 seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD
>                 thy God: in it thou shalt not do any
>                 work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter,
>                 thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor
>                 thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is
>                 within thy gates: For in six days the
>                 LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and
>                 all that in them is, and rested the seventh
>                 day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath
>                 day, and hallowed it.

Read:  Do not submit jobs to machines on Sundays, for that is when the 
superuser plays xtrek and xtank.  Submitting jobs on Sundays will result
in file wipage and destructive email.  See commandment1(1), commandment3(1).

>Commandment #5:  Exodus 20:12 (KJV) Honour thy father and thy
>                 mother: that thy days may be long upon the
>                 land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Read:  Never attempt to kill the parent process of a shell, lest ye desire the
wrath of lost work and xdm.

>Commandment #6:  Exodus 20:13 (KJV) Thou shalt not kill.

Read:  What the hell does this have to do with SGIs?  I don't know what I would
do if I didn't kill.  Especially kill -9.

>Commandment #7:  Exodus 20:14 (KJV) Thou shalt not commit
>                 adultery.

Read:  Thou shalt not interface with lower forms of computer systems, especially
the demonic MSDOS and Mac System7 machines.  Mixing with BSD should be considere
d
flirting.

>Commandment #8:  Exodus 20:15 (KJV) Thou shalt not steal.

Read:  Thou shalt not steal software.  Get the GNU version of it, it's better 
anyway.

>Commandment #9:  Exodus 20:16 (KJV) Thou shalt not bear
>                 false witness against thy neighbour.

Read:  Thou shalt not send erroneous TCP packets intentionally on the net, lest
ye risk filling up the superuser's console window with irritating messages and
ye risk the superuser's wrath.  See commandment1(1), commandment3(1),
boy_do_I_love_man_page_cross_referencing(2).

>Commandment #10: Exodus 20:17 (KJV) Thou shalt not covet
>                 thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not
>                 covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his
>                 manservant, nor his maidservant, nor
>                 his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that
>                 is thy neighbour's.

Read:  Thou mayest desire an Onyx, but thou sure as hell ain't going to be able
to afford one.

>I also recommend that the following books be obtained and closely studied:

>         The Great Controversy
>         By Ellen G. White
>         Review and Herald Publishing Association
>         Hagerstown, MD 21740

	The O'Reilly Handbooks
	SGI System Administration
	GNU Free Software License

:)

Bob Glamm






















--
Bob Glamm                 |  There once was a programmer in C,
614 Delaware St. SE       |  Who had a very hard time with struct, did he;
Minneapolis, MN 55455     |  "My data I will scatter,
  |   throughout my program's grey matter,"



Kicsit hosszu, de tanulsagos....
Udv, Draconus
,